Why I Love Dating Apps
I love them. Tinder, Bumble, Match, Okay Cupid…all of them.
They rock my world. As a nomad for six months, this was one of the ways I met friends and soul tribe in all the different cities and countries.
In fact my Home, Kauai, found me, because I flew here to meet a man I met through Match.com.
Through these apps, I have been paired with an actor from my favorite TV show, an inspirational para athlete, and the head of a national non-profit I have supported for years.
My dates have varied from the simplicity of a moonlight walk under the stars in Hawaii to fancy tea dates in Los Angeles. Yet, each date has been magical in it’s own way. There was ONE dud… Let’s just say I learned so much from the experience!! (see below!)
Although I am unclear as to if I have met my Life Partner yet, I have certainly made incredible friends and even formed business and creative collaborations from these connections.
Um, and let’s be real… most of them ask if they can be clients.
Oh, I have heard the haters for sure. The story about how these apps are for losers who can’t meet people the “normal” way, or it’s all about hooking up and one night stands, or it’s not a “spiritual” enough way to meet someone.
My favorite? “I am just doing this for fun. I mean, MY man wouldn’t be on Tinder.”
“Really?” I want to ask. “Because YOU are!”
I would love for everyone to have as many magical experiences with Dating Apps as me… Here are some tips!
1. Don’t Wait To Talk On The Phone or Meet In Person.
Do NOT message for more than 1-2 days without talking on the phone or meeting in person.
It’s a total waste of time and energy, plus it gives people way too much space to build up fantasies in their head around who the other person might be and what might happen. This means that the expectations can build and it’s rather possible to be supremely disappointed no matter how it all unfolds.
This was my one dud experience with OK Cupid. The gentleman and I emailed message after message. They were deep and intimate. By the time we met, we were SURE we were soulmates.
We were NOT.
But the buildup had been SO large, that we were destined for disappointment. This also might have had to do with the fact that he was MUCH older than me with hair down to his waist, but I digress.
2. Be Super Discerning
I swipe left WAY more often than I swipe right.
I make sure that I am CERTIFIABLY attracted to every picture of the potential match. I say NO to pictures of men…
– Holding alcoholic beverages two more more shots
– Wearing sunglasses (I can’t even tell what you look like sir, and I wonder what you are hiding)
– With other women in most of their pix (really?)
– Who have attempted the shirtless bathroom selfie (I just can’t)
I also read profiles very carefully and will ONLY swipe right when someone has actually taken the time to write one.
3. Have FUN
Don’t take all of this too seriously. Ever. That energy is heavy and a total downer. I go into every first date as if I am meeting up with a potential amazing friend.
I remember that we are a vibrational match and somehow and for some reason we attracted each other in this moment in time, and I embrace it fully.
– What do I have to learn from this person?
– What are the synchronicities and mirroring happening?
– What are the positive and/or negative projections happening?
I choose to see the person with whom I am connecting as the most intriguing person on the planet and they always rise to the occasion, when seen in that light.
4. Don’t constantly question if this is your future life partner.
What a blessing JUST to be spending time together, yes? Take things moment to moment without getting wrapped up into the future. Allow the connection to take on a life of it’s own and embrace the mystery!
No expectations. No agenda.
When you’re constantly asking yourself (in the back of your mind) if this is your future life partner, you end up taking away from the enjoyment and fun of the NOW.
What a gift and a blessing to be spending time together, yes?
Recently, I met a man who just might be my Life Partner…who knows? Stay tuned! And how did we meet?
“I can’t believe I met someone like you on Tinder.” He said.
Oh I can. I think to myself.
And, who knows what will happen.
But there is ONE guarantee. There will be surprises, miracles, and magic, because that is how I CHOOSE to live.
“When you release expectations, you are free to enjoy things for what they are instead of what you think they should be.”-Mandy Hale
I’d LOVE to hear from you…
What dating app rules do you follow?