How to ROCK a Boring Get-Together
I was recently at a “typical” holiday party. Appetizers, drinks, Christmas Carols, Ice Breakers, and mingling.
I found myself wondering if I would find anyone with whom I could actually relate or if this would just be a series of unfulfilling Small Talks, leaving me feeling isolated, disconnected, and wondering if there was a maximum limit on the free drinks.
As I was introducing myself to a few people, I was naturally drawn to a woman in her sixties, who reminded me of my mom. At first we spoke about life facts.
How long have you been on Kauai?
Where did you live before moving here?
I noticed that my brain started to wander off a bit, and I felt slightly restless. “Hold on”, I realized. “This isn’t fun or interesting and I am choosing this experience right now.”
I took a deep breath to become more present. I looked deep into this woman’s eyes, until I saw her Soul, until I saw that she was the Divine Being having a human experience, like all of us.
From there came a question from deep within me…
“When in your life, do you feel the happiest?” I asked.
She paused, and her head tilted to the right. She took a deep breath and tears welled up in her eyes.
“You know, I actually haven’t been happy much at all since moving here…” she began. And then she proceeded to dive into her story, sharing from her heart and soul. She spoke of her partner who had asked her to move to the island to be with him, and the challenges in the transition. She shared her immense love and passion for gardening and organic farming, and why our bodies and the whole planet benefit from it.
I was transfixed by her vulnerability and openness, holding on to every word.
I learned so much from her sharing, and will remember her always. Suddenly this cheesy get together became a temple gathering. With one question we became Soul Tribe.
Here are some tips for bonding with each person you meet:
1. See them as God in human clothing
We are all souls having a human experience. When we choose to see the other in their Divine Essence, as an Earth Angel, then they rise to the occasion. We will be astounded by their wisdom, insight, and Magic.
2. Look straight into their eyes
The eyes are windows to the Soul, they say. So to see someone’s essence, eye contact is essential. I recommend setting the intention to NOT break eye contact at all and see what happens. The other will feel truly seen and appreciated, and they will open up more and more. Maybe after some initial discomfort. But be aware…you may fall in love with everyone you meet. ☺
3. Ask open ended questions
Focus on questions that need more than a simple yes or no. Give people the opportunity to dive in to the inquiry. Here are some examples…
What most lights you up in life right now?
Who do you love the most and why?
When do you feel most alive?
What has been your largest lesson or breakthrough in life recently?
Who inspires you most and why?
4. Practice Active Listening
Mirror back what you are hearing.
“So it sounds like what you are saying is…”
Make connections from your life to what they are sharing so they can see that you are truly listening and relating.
5. Be willing to open your heart up in response
This type of connection goes both ways. If you desire someone to open up, you must be willing to do the same. Share from you heart, let emotion come up and out if it starts to rise. Embody the type of openness that you would love to see in the other.
We all want this level of intimacy and connection. It is just that most of us haven’t been taught or supported in how to nurture it. Be the role model of empowered Vulnerability.
By applying these tips, I have become life long friends with my Uber Drivers, sat next to people on planes who became clients, and even experienced magical synchronicity and connection at the DMV.
We can experience Oneness and connection in every moment of our day with anyone, grounding us in the Knowing that we are never alone.
When we live this way, life can become one giant Love Story and we will never dread another work party again.
I’d LOVE to hear from you…