This REVOLUTIONARY Act
In the new paradigm of marriage, we look to form unions that have enough vision and expansion to support us to midwife ourselves into being all that we are capable of being.
-Katherine Woodward, author of “Calling in the One”
In this day and age it is a REVOLUTIONARY act to choose Love. To opt IN fully to heart and soul centered partnership. To say YES to diving in to the inevitable pain and perceived loss that is part of a life fully lived and loved, and yet, it IS arguably one of the most powerful choices we can make in this lifetime.
It is not for everyone, but if it IS for you, congratulations! 😉 I was blessed to experience a 14-year relationship and 8 year marriage with my best friend and a soul mate, Ben, that brought more learning, healing, expansion, and growth than I could have ever imagined when we met at 20. Even though we have chosen to complete our relationship in the form that it was in (ie. Conscious uncoupling), we are still both in awe and gratitude of our time together in this type of partnership. We see our marriage as a powerful success and a time that we both raised each other as adults. We truly helped midwife one another into our Authentic Selves and helped usher one another onto our True Paths.
With reverence for the sacredness of this choice and Calling, I am deeply honored to officiate weddings, vow renewals, and commitment ceremonies as part of my Vocation and Mission here on this Earth. What a joy and privilege to witness the profound COURAGE it takes to join hands and leap with faith into the Unknown of deep and lasting devotion to one another.
I was called to this ministry when about 8 years ago, I was Maid of Honor in a soul sister’s wedding and a couple weeks before the Ceremony, she and her fiancé couldn’t locate their chosen officiant. He had decided to travel internationally and gone off the grid.
I quickly became ordained online and was ready to fill the shoes of both the MOH and the Officiant, which would have been a logistical and spatial adventure. In the end, the International Man of Mystery was located and I was “off the hook”. However, the seed was planted and soon after, I found myself speaking to a Soul Brother, who said, “When gay marriage is legalized in NY, I would love for you to be the one to `marry my partner and myself.”
I was so touched and quickly agreed. As we all know, soon gay marriage was legalized, and my first wedding flowed through me. It was clear on that day, that this was one of my very favorite services to offer, and part of my purpose on the planet.
Since then I have officiated over 10 weddings for friends, family, clients, and strangers (now friends/family!). I have married couples in the middle of pine forests, in the comfort of their own home, and in Columbus Circle in New York City, standing on the median between traffic.
I have mediated family misunderstandings, held space for normal fears and doubts from the partners, and cried with them as they basked in the passion and magic of the ceremony and the depth of meaning it has for them. We have co-created ceremonies that speak to the individual relationship as well as to the Collective…here is a small excerpt from the last ceremony I officiated in New York a couple weeks ago…
Wisdom About LOVE:
Many of us grow up believing that if we just find the perfect person, our Prince or Princess Charming, someone who helps us feel accepted and worthy, then we will experience the love that we are seeking.
However, the Truth is that the Love and connection we truly desire is actually within us all along. Love is our Essence. It is who are.
As Rumi says, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” All the self-judgments, misunderstandings, and limiting belief. All the voices inside us or from our past that might tell us we are not good enough or there is something inherently wrong with us.
Before we can unconditionally love another, we must love and accept OURSELVES as fully as possible; be devoted to our own Inner Partnership or our relationship to our Self; become our own Soul mate, our own best friend. And once we do, when we are living “in love” within ourselves, we can truly be living “in love” with another.
As my Grandfather, who was married to my grandmother for 56 years, always said, “Cora, you know when you are truly ready to be in a relationship when you know you would be GREAT on your own.”
When we are living lives we love, great on our own, and then CHOOSE to share this life with another, then the magic, the power, the joy of life increases exponentially. The sharing of an overflow of Love within us, creates a partnership rich with meaning, intimacy, passion, and joy. A Synergy, where the sum of the combined parts become greater than then the separate parts, where two souls become one, and as St Ignatius of Loyola says, you may together “Go forth and set the world on Fire.”
(I borrowed that last quote from the words of wisdom shared at Prince William’s wedding to Duchess Kate)
As the quote above reads, there is a new paradigm of Marriage emerging, one that celebrates to WHOLE and COMPLETE individuals coming together to celebrate and share in the Overflow of the Love that they are.
My loves, honor and celebrate your Inner Marriage each and every day to yourself, be your Own Partner, your own best friend. And live in LOVE with life.
And life WILL inevitably love you back.
And you deserve it.